Chaos: Moogle Factories and Weird Dreams
by Quistis88 and Quis
Summary: Wherein Squall inherits something he doesn't want and learns to never follow strangers


Quis:  
  
One morning, Squall woke up to the sound of his computer beeping at him.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Pushing himself out of bed, he dragged his body over to the electronic box.  
  
"An E-mail? From . . . Ward?"  
  
Quis:  
  
Pushing the keys down as he did, he opened the email to display a picture of a dancing Moogle.  
  
"Mr Leonhart," the Moogle said, an evil smile playing on it's innocent face, "You have just inherited Dr. Odine's Moogle Lab"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Squall sat in his chair, now fully awake and shocked.  
  
"M-m-moogle lab . . . ? What kind of sick joke is-"  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
  
Quis:  
  
"Mr Leonhart," a robot voice said as it pushed the door down with minimal effort, "I am here to take you to the Moogle Lab."  
  
Squall could only stare in shock. "Who are you?" he asked.  
  
The hooded creature started to speak. "Time shall kompress," it said...  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Nooooooooooooo . . . !!!" Squall screamed and tackled the figure. But he went right through it and landed on the hallway outside his dorm.  
  
Quis:  
  
Rinoa was passing that way, and so Squall unfortunately landed on her. "Squall!" Rinoa exclaimed, "Whatever is the matter?"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"That THING! She's come back!" Squall got up and turned around.  
  
The "thing" had disappeared.  
  
Rinoa shook her head sadly. "Have you been eating hot dogs before bedtime again? It's not good for you, Squall!"  
  
Quis:  
  
Squall blustered for a few seconds. "H-Hotdogs, ME? Why would I eat such foul things, Rinny?"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Because," she replied, as if he should already know this. "Zell speaks so highly of them all the time. We all know how much of an influence Zell actually has on you."  
  
Quis:  
  
Squall laughed. "I don't know about that," he said, as he tackled Rinoa. "It looks like we're gonna have to go all the way out to Esthar today, love"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Esthar?" Rinoa giggled. "Why? What's in Esthar?"  
  
"My . . . lab."  
  
"Lab?"  
  
"You'll see." He grabbed her hand and pulled her with him to the parking lot.  
  
Quis:  
  
Rinoa's curiosity was unabated. "Wait a minute, Squall...Don't tell me you're going all the way out to Esthar in nothing but your tighty-whities"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Squall looked around the hallway. "There's no one here. I have spare clothes on the Ragnarok. I'll change there." Suddenly . . .  
  
Quis:  
  
The hooded figure from before appeared again. It had red eyes, glowing like burning coals. "I am the Dark Lord" he said, "I am Voldemort"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Volde-who?" Rinoa scratched her head. Squall ran into the Ragnarok, trying to hide from the thing and change into something as soon as possible.  
  
"Voldemort," the figure repeated.  
  
"V-voldo?"  
  
"NO! VOLDEMORT! You pesky muggles are all alike!"  
  
Quis:  
  
"Muggles?" Rinoa said, "I am no Muggle! I am a SORCERESS!"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"A Sorceress, you say. Then we shall duel!" He pulled out a wand. "Muggle or not, the first to die loses!"  
  
"What's a Muggle anyway? Don't you mean Moogle?"  
  
"Moo- That's right. I was here for a purpose. Something concerning a Moogle lab . . ."  
  
Quis:  
  
Rinoa was taken aback by the sudden appearance of a wand. "Wands have no purpose here," she said, as Voldemort circled her. "Ultima!" she cried, as the green ball of stuff devoured Voldemort.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
It hurt.  
  
Rinoa ran into the Ragnarok, which took flight immediately and flew out of Voldemort's sight.  
  
"Nooooo! Fool! I was not finished! I will NOT be finished! You cannot run! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!" He disappeared.  
  
Quis:  
  
However, their day wasn't going to improve. Pupu appeared.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Squall was furious. "What are you doing here!? No, get off the windshield!"  
  
Quis:  
  
"Pupu?" the little thing said, as it flew away happily. The rest of the trip was uneventful. (Well, if you count uneventful as not having any said goop incidents). "Leonhart to Ground Control," Squall said, as he connected with the Esthar Skyways base.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
There was no response.  
  
"Ground control? Hello?" Squall could make out the sounds of faint snoring in the back. "GET UP, YOU MORON!"  
  
A girly scream rang throughout the Ragnarok as the staff on duty at the Esthar base was rudely awakened.  
  
"Y-yes, sir! Who's this?" The young man replied.  
  
"Squall Leonhart."  
  
"THE Squall Leonhart!? Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, sir!"  
  
" . . whatever . . ."  
  
Quis:  
  
There was a moment of silence. "I take it that you're Loire's son?" there was no answer from Squall.  
  
"Leonhart?"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"......"  
  
"Yes, he is!" Rinoa chimed in cheerily.  
  
"No, shut up!" Squall covered his ears. "It's bad enough you lost my towel. Now THIS!"  
  
"T-towel, sir?" The man at ground control was confused.  
  
"None of YOUR business!"  
  
Quis:  
  
"Ok, you're right to go." GC said, as they severed the connection.  
  
Squall let out a small sigh of relief. Quite honestly, he absolutely hated Esthar, with it's Xenophobes and the likes  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Finally on his way to his father's place, he took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have brought her . . . I shouldn't have brought her . . . " he muttered to himself.  
  
"What's that, Squally?"  
  
". . . whatever . . ."  
  
"Look! We're here!"  
  
Quis:  
  
At Rinoa's squeal of excitement, Squall couldn't help but smile. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that dampened her spirits. {Guess she's like Samwise the Brave}, he thought  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Come on, Squall! I haven't seen Ellone in so long!" Rinoa ran behind him and practically pushed him inside.  
  
Squall thought of Sis and his mood lightened a little, although that emotionless look never left his face.  
  
Quis:  
  
They were no sooner walking out and down the ramp, when the Papparazzi cameras started flashing. Somewhat looking like a deer caught in the headlights, Squall and Rinoa made their way to the palace, flanked by bodyguards.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Squall, my boy!" Laguna greeted them at the entrance to the palace and lead them in. "How ya been? Those nice men at Ground Control has already notified me of your arrival!"  
  
"......" {Those stupid good-for-nothing idiots . . .} Squall thought.  
  
"And I see you brought my future daughter-in-law with you!"  
  
Rinoa blushed and looked at the ground, rubbing at the expensive carpet with one foot.  
  
Quis:  
  
"Laguna," Squall greeted his father coldly, "What was that email about a Moogle Factory?"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Moogle fac-- oh, yes!  
  
"I asked Ward to tell you. Dr. Odine has a vacant building now, the size of a factory!" Laguna grinned. "He didn't want it so now I can do whatever I want with it! And I decided to let you run the place! I've already decided to make it a place where people can manufacture moogle plushies! This will create more job opportunities, and the economy will be the best in the world in no time!"  
  
Quis:  
  
Squall groaned. {Just...Stop volunteering me for things like this} he thought, placing his head in his hands--a common characteristic. Without much thought, Squall began pacing. "What to do...what to do...." he muttered, as he paced. Suddenly, it hit him! *kill* the moogles  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Rip them to pieces, pull their heads off . . . hahaha!"  
  
Apparently, Squall had been thinking out loud, and was now receiving odd stares from his father and girlfriend.  
  
Quis:  
  
"uh. Squall?" Laguna ventured, "What was that about?"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Nothing. I . . . saw a Bite Bug at the window."  
  
" . . . what window?"  
  
". . . whatever . . . "  
  
"Anyways! Moving on!" Laguna said, rubbing his hands together. "I expect you to do a good job, Squall. Make those moogles as quickly as you can! We mustn't disappoint the children!"  
  
Kiros decided to speak up. "Laguna, this recent city survey says that 70% of children are afraid of moogles."  
  
Quis:  
  
Smirking, Kiros left the room. {that'll just teach him}, he thought, as he morphed back into Voldemort.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Laguna blinked a few times. Having no business sense whatsoever (he was an underpaid soldier, after all), he continued. " . . . oh, well! I'm sure they'll be a hit once we get them on the market!"  
  
Quis:  
  
Rinoa smiled. "Of course they will be," she said, laying a gentle hand on Squall's arm. "Listen to your father, Squall," she said. (She wasn't very bright, which had something to do with her mother being a caberet singer whilst pregnant with her).  
  
Quistis88:  
  
{"Listen to your father, Squall"} he mocked her in his head. {The last time I listened to YOU, my pajamas went missing. The last time I listened to HIM, I got stuck in Time Compression.}  
  
Quis:  
  
With a bitter chuckle, he smirked. Eerily reminiscient of our loved disgraced knight, the smirk was. "Let's just go to the damned factory, alright?" he said  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Ok!" Rinoa walked after him as the doors were held open by 2 guards.  
  
Quis:  
  
The guards were none other than minions of Voldemort. With a cruel sneer, vaguely reminiscient of Lucius and Draco Malfoy, the guards held the doors open for them. {Oh Hyne.} Squall thought, {Don't let this be another crazy druggie}  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Walking to the factory while guided by big signs that say "My Son's new factory: This Way!!!", Squall and Rinoa were oblivious to the 3 hooded figures who now followed them.  
  
Reaching their destination at long last, the couple stopped and stared at the factory building. It wasn't in mint condition, but Squall supposed that could be fixed. Upon pushing open the doors and entering they paused to look. Rinoa squealed with joy while Squall gagged.  
  
Quis:  
  
Looking around, the factory teemed with life. It was bursting at the seams with energy. Almost like an Energizer Bunny ad, the moogles bounced around with joy.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Rinoa couldn't control herself anymore. "Oh, SQUALL!!! They are so so SO cute!!!" She ran across the factory and hugged one of them tightly. Some of the moogles danced around Squall, singing a nameless tune.  
  
That was when Squall couldn't control himself anymore.  
  
"HOLY HYNE! These things are EVIL!!! Rinoa, get away from them!!!"  
  
Quis:  
  
"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth," the moogles sang, as they bounded around the very irate Squall. {Would someone just please RIP the batteries outta these things}, he thought, as he tried to escape.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Leaving already!?" Something squeaked. "PLEASE stay and play!"   
  
Soon, the whole factory of moogles started chanting: "Stay and play! Stay and play! Eeeeheeheeheeheehee!!!"  
  
Squall, by this time, was genuinely freaked out. Never before in his life had he seen something this eerie.   
  
Except maybe for that time he caught Quistis and Seifer doing unmentionable things in Garden's hallway after hours. Then again, that's a different story.  
  
Quis:  
  
Quite astonishingly, however, Rinoa was starting to freak out also. Her unharnessed Sorceress powers were going haywire, and soon her skin glowed amber, her eyes going white, a'la Gandalf when he came back from fighting the Balrog, and thus there was something not quite right about her. It didn't take a genius to realise that she'd been posessed.  
  
"Time is now at hand," Rinoa said, seemingly in a trance.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
" . . . whatever . . . " was Squall's reply. {What the heck does that mean? "Time is now at hand"?} Squall looked on the wall, where there was a clock. {Oh! Lunch time! That will be my excuse!}  
  
"Rinoa!" he shouted to her now-floating form. "Come down, let's ditch--- er, go for lunch and come back."  
  
Rinoa laughed at him.  
  
Quis:  
  
"Foolish mortal," she said, "I am the great Goddess Hyne..." {Hyne} Rinoa thought, {get out of my brain}  
  
Quistis88:  
  
{Get out?} Hyne said. {Not when I'm having soooo much fun. Not when I can do this.} 'Rinoa' snapped her fingers and instantly, the moogles' heads looked skyward.  
  
"My adorable minions . . . " 'Rinoa' said. "Destroy them all! Take over the world for me and you shall be pleasantly rewarded! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
Quis:  
  
Squall was freaking out. First his girlfriend loves the idea of the Moogle Factory, now it seems like she'd been possessed. {This isn't a good day}, he thought. {Since Cerebrus refuses to answer my calls, I only have Carbuncle left, and Carbuncle's annoying}  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Having almost no other alternative, he decided to summon Carbuncle and see what happens.  
  
In a flash of ruby light, Carbuncle's green head poked out of a hole in the ground. Looking around and noticing the moogles, Carbuncle's eyes grew wide and slowly crept back into the hole.  
  
Squall waited.  
  
Carbuncle didn't come back.  
  
"NO! THIS CAN'T BE!!!"  
  
Quis:  
  
This was it. The final straw. He would never return to SeeD or Esthar ever again. He'd head to Winhil. {At least in Winhil I'll be protected under my citizenship}, he thought, as he trudged gloomily back to the airship--sans Rinoa/Hyne of course.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Meanwhile, clanking noises were heard in the large port where the Ragnarok had been parked. 3 hooded figures appeared to be tampering with the spaceship's interior mechanism.  
  
"We'll see how well he flies without this . . . " one of them said, taking something out. They saw Squall coming inside with his head down.  
  
"Quickly, we must not be seen!" Draco wrapped his comrades and himself with the Cloak of Invisibility, stolen from Harry.  
  
Quis:  
  
However, Squall could see right through the cloak. "Take me with you....I'll do anything to get out of here," he said to Draco and his comrades. "I'll cut you a deal. I'll help you take out this pesky 'boy who lived' once and for all".  
  
Quistis88:  
  
The offer was too sweet even for Voldemort to refuse. All 3 of them hated that Potter kid anyway, so why not?  
  
Quis:  
  
"Deal," the tallest one said. "Let us take the Portkey out of this world and to Hogwarts"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"What's Hogwarts?" Squall asked.  
  
"Haven't you EVER heard of it?" Draco said arrogantly.  
  
Squall stared at him. "You. You . . . remind me of Seifer."  
  
"And who's this . . . 'Seifer'?"  
  
"Some jerk I know."  
  
"Father! He called me a jerk!" Draco turned to Lucius...  
  
"Be patient, son. We need him for our plans."  
  
"Hmph."  
  
"What's this Hogwarts?" Squall asked again.  
  
"An academy, one of the best in the world."  
  
"Nothing like Balamb Garden, right?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Good."  
  
Quis:  
  
Squall smiled. "You've got the best swordsman this side of the universe fighting with you. I'll make sure your enemy is dead, just say the word", here he paused, thinking of what would happen if Headmaster Cid found out that his Commander had run off.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
{Who cares about that old geezer? I never wanted to be Commander anyway.} He growled. Still a little hesitant, he followed the dark lords to their world . . .  
  
Quis:  
  
However, Squall was amused. First there was the issue of those....wands....Apparently he'd be needing to get one if he were to survive in this world. Inwardly, he snorted. {The saviour of the world with a pathetic STICK as a weapon...they've got another thing coming}, he thought. {I've got more powerful magic than this 'Avada Keadavara' they're talking about}  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Arriving at Hogwarts, Squall looked upon thousands and thousands of . . .  
  
Children. Hyne, there are children all over the place.  
  
Quis:  
  
{What did I get myself into?} Squall wondered, as he entered the grand hall. Professor Dumbledore smiled, "It looks like our new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher has arrived at last," he remarked to McGongall.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Are you talking about me?" Squall huffed.  
  
"Yes. And dressed for the part, too, I see." Dumbledore commented. Squall was in his usual dark outfit with the . . . fur.  
  
". . whatever . . ."  
  
"Why so many belts, my boy?"  
  
Quis:  
  
Squall looked up to see the benin face of Dumbledore. "I need them to keep my wand in one of them, plus potions, antidotes, etc in the others"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Oh, I see. Quite convenient. A wonderful idea." Dumbledore looked deep in thought. "Perhaps we could incorporate that into the dress code as well."  
  
Quis:  
  
Squall looked surprised. {Ok, this is gonna be weirder than that last mission Cid sent me on...Not only did I meet the president of Esthar, he also happened to be my father}, he thought, placing his hand in his head. Dumbledore smiled, and returned to his seat, Squall following him.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Your room is ready, so you may unpack anything you need to and please join us for dinner tonight!" Dumbledore said sincerely.  
  
"My room? Like, a dorm?" {Not like Balamb Garden, my foot.}  
  
Quis:  
  
Dumbledore smiled. "The students live in dormitories, the staff in private chambers, complete with just about any convenience you could think of," he said, sitting down in the chair. "And now, children, let's give a warm welcome to this year's DADA teacher, Professor Leonhart"  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Oh, he's so charming!" a young girl stated. Squall frowned, scaring a couple of kids. {Where's that Rinoa when you need her . . .}  
  
Quis:  
  
{That's right...She's back in the Moogle Factory}, a sly voice seemed to say. With a forced smile, Squall stood up and left the table.   
  
If Dumbledore noticed that, he didn't let on. He was still smiling serenely.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Good ol' Professor Snape noticed something different about "Professor Leonhart", and followed him out . . .  
  
Quis:  
  
Snape snuck down the corridor, thanking Merlin for his stealth training as an Auror. "Leonhart," he said coldly.   
  
Squall turned. "Yes?" he said.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Tell me, young man." Snape paused for dramatic effect. "Where are you from? Exactly?"  
  
Squall sensed a certain level of hostility coming from this man. What if this guy wanted to know where he lived so he could have revenge or something? Squall wouldn't have it. He wouldn't do that to his beloved home.  
  
"Esthar," Squall replied.  
  
He wasn't lying, really. He did come to this place from Esthar.  
  
Quis:  
  
"Esthar," Snape echoed, "Esthar's just a myth. It disappeared, like Merlin," he said.  
  
Squall was shocked. {So Esthar does exist in this world}, he thought, "Why does it matter?" Squall asked, trying to keep his voice even.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"I'll crack this weird case before the school year is done," Snape assured him. "That, or it'll be your pretty little head."  
  
{ . . . did he just call me pretty?}  
  
Quis:  
  
"Right," Squall said, fighting the urge to salute this man. After a few minutes of trying to stare the other down, the two men shook hands, "Can you show me to the quarters?" Squall asked  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Snape exhaled, annoyed. "Fine. This way."  
  
Squall didn't trust this man. Heck, even Zell wouldn't trust him. Keeping his guard up and Lionheart ready but concealed, he let Snape lead him down hallway after hallway...  
  
"Here you go," Snape said, stopping at a door. "Make yourself at home, Leonhart."  
  
Squall opened the door.  
  
Quis:  
  
Inside were mounds and mounds of paper, and not a single Moogle in sight. Thanking his lucky belt, he walked over to the bed, and fell down, face first, into a deep slumber.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Squall . . . Squall . . ."  
  
Squall mumbled something and cracked open his left eye. He saw a figure in the window, glowing.  
  
"HOLY SH--" He stopped himself before he could finish the word. There were children in the building, after all.  
  
Quis:  
  
"RINOA!" Squall exclaimed, "What're you doing here?"  
  
She turned towards him with a smile playing on her face. "It's good to see you, Squall...Care to explain how you ended up here?" she asked  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"Whatever. It wasn't my fault. The moogles forced me here." {Yes, Squall . . . blame everything on the moogles. That'll work.}  
  
Rinoa didn't look too pleased. "Bad bad Squally. You have to be punished!"  
  
Quis:  
  
Squall's mind couldn't take it any longer. "I HATE Moogles, ok? I really HATE them!  
  
Quistis88:  
  
"HATE MOOGLES!? How COULD you!? They're so adorable and cuddly and --"  
  
"Shut up, I just want some peace!"  
  
"Then eat a piece of this!" Out of nowhere, Rinoa conjured up a Balamb Garden hot dog and shoved it in Squall's mouth.  
  
Squall protested. "Mmmff! Mm-mmmmppff mmmpffff!" (translation: Stop! You're killing me!)  
  
Quis:  
  
Suddenly, his world went black. He was falling, falling, falling into a world of nothingness. Oblivion, and finally some rest.  
  
Quistis88:  
  
Squall woke up to the sound of his computer beeping at him.  
  
The end. 


End file.
